How to teach the child of independence

Our children grow up, and we unconsciously begin to reflect how to accustom them to independence. Communicating with familiar parents, we pay attention to foreign kids. And what we observe? To our look absolutely inconsistent picture appears.

One peanut in three years without hint of mother gets up in the morning, puts on, brushes teeth; another - in five years even does not want to wash hands without assistance, begins to play the fool, arousing indignation of people around. The whimsical child flatly refuses to eat, put shoes on, and sometimes arrangements are useless. In a garden till the evening shouts and discontent, will not take away home yet. What will happen in the future? Why so it develops that in certain cases mutual communication takes place smoothly, and others it is necessary to make serious efforts?

These questions push to conversation on education of independent children, consciousness training, instilling of resolute traits of character. Having achieved success, we will help to find independence to the younger generation, ability to build the life and to be responsible people. Approach is necessary special, so to speak from outside here. It is impossible to blame unambiguously a family for troubles. It the same as to reproach parents with love to own child. Some adults late pay attention that it is time to release gradually from itself the child, to give it more freedom. All kids are very individual, have various prerequisites of development. It is temperament, backbone, an opportunity to transfer fear, alarm. Having considered everything composed, a conclusion arises that in each situation own plan is necessary. There is no universal method of education with an absolute guarantee. Persons unlike at each other it is necessary to grow up, having sent to the correct course. Having patience and knowledge of potential of the child, it is possible to construct effective training.

Formation of independence at children

Since seven-eight months babies begin to be nervous at approach of foreign adults. Those who constantly are nearby already imprinted in memory, and each unfamiliar person, causes alarm, fear of uncertainty. From this tender age communication with the mentor arises. If the baby has no authoritative example, or nearby constantly there are several people (grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts) with different, uncoordinated positions and norms legal, it does not promise anything good. In such situation it will be difficult to child to learn independence, on the contrary - the untied behavior is formed.

Be not frightened if the baby feels concern, difficulties in elementary things, it is absolutely normal reaction at the initial stage. Just from you more care and supports is required. Readiness to be independent means a certain level of physical, intellectual and moral development. Progress is equally possible for all children, some nuances only vary. The main task of the parent - it is patient to help the child, to correct mistakes, to support words with own example. Watch the events and make decisions on independence encouragement, or restriction. You learn to overcome fears, rage and indignation.

I remember the daughter at seven-months age, at us long it was impossible to sit down independently. She diligently strained, tried to keep, and then was filled up sideways and loudly cried. Together it was succeeded to endure this moment. We carried out physical exercises, I told it about advantage of occupations. The equal, quiet voice in a habitual situation gave it joy. When the daughter made new attempts to rise, tears were not any more, was upset, but without scandal.

Often seeking to secure the child and surrounding things, we forget about consequences, we constrain rushes to independence of children. Take a detached view of a situation. For example, the son, being in the neighboring room, took a broom and began to wave it on the parties, kicking up dust and scattering things, you appeared and saw it. What first reaction? Or the daughter decided to treat you with tea, reached a cup, but dropped and broke it. Overindulgence? No! Children with all sincerity tried to clean or please the father, these are good manifestations, excellent rudiments of independence. Do not swear and do not punish, it is so simple to cut off the kindest aspirations on a root. Short-sighted reaction of parents is capable to disaccustom to create personally. The wrong stamps are formed: "mother", "I am scoldif I spoil". Subsequently it is difficult to break such psychological barriers. If the child already something is able, shows an initiative, surely provide him the field for activity. Let process will take three times more time, but the ultimate goal of development of independence will pay back everything.

We win against children's fears together

For the solution of a question of supersensitivity, it is necessary to try to understand position of children, to understand fears and to be nearby, to treat with understanding and support. It is impossible to follow the statement "and so will learn", do not throw the little man with troubles alone. Never deceive the kid even in trifles, you only aggravate with it a situation. If, for example, he has to endure a prick, you do not say that it without serious consequences, will appear on the contrary. Leaving the child for a long time, do not promise to return in 5 minutes. You learn to accept reality, but without roughness, and providing support, to smooth acute angles. Do not try to reach independence popular reception "I will throw into water - itself comes up". Arriving in this way, you seriously limit an opportunity a self-affirmation.

I was afraid to leave the baby till 2 years even with the husband, she could not stop hysterical shout so all house "stood on ears". The mention of leaving caused sharp emotions. Once we stayed with the grandmother, it was impossible to cope with crying, but it is necessary. If not to settle a problem now, then then it will be much more difficult. At first we with Sasha took out a garbage can together, then I washed her sandals, in advance having warned that it will not be able to go with me until the footwear dries. It was necessary to listen, of course, to indignations, but it is short. Still few times still to the scenario, and negative reaction came to naught. Then I risked to go outside without it, the benefit there was an occasion, to walk a dog. Mother is my assistant, rushed with the shouting granddaughter on the apartment so far, at last, did not put it on a window sill where me it was visible. So three times a day we taught Sasha to wean from "a mother's skirt". Then it acquired that I will not get to anywhere: will look in a window and will go quietly to play.

About the third year the child finally feels that the maternal love and devotion accompany it always. The fear gradually vanishes, and existence of confidence, reliability on a part add the independence which is urged on by desire to learn world around. The main thing to know that mother will not disappear, she goes about the own business and will always be near to support. Gradually the motto "I am" wakes up. If the behavior oversteps the limits legal because it is impossible conceived, whims and crying are heard, it is impossible to be reconciled with it. Teach the child to rules of life in human society where ask about the help when it is difficult to cope alone. Forget such phrases as: do not climb, I, do not touch, you will drop you (will break).

Unfortunately, not all children strive for self-affirmation. Some have no thirst for independent actions, they just go down stream. Here it is necessary to show persistence. Get acquainted with additional materials about education in the bottom of article. Choose the moments of good mood to start game: wash the dishes, you clean a floor, tie laces, etc. the Child will need more time therefore be patient, do not lower a hand. Do everything together literally: pull trousers, collect toys, clear dirty ware the table. Make it a rule inevitability of necessary work. Yes, adults will help, but whims or obstinacy will not cancel a task. Gradually the child realizes that the quicker he will cope, rather will be able to be engaged in favourite toys or animated cartoons. The abuse, shouts, anstop it for sluggishness, do not promise anything good.

Education and study have to bring joy, only in this case they will be apprehended adequately. Following important point. It is impossible to criticize the child at strangers. If he was mistaken or experiences difficulties, for example, with fastening of the lock in a jacket, do not humiliate it. Negative practice of urging on only reduces a self-assessment, instead of independence stimulation. If children hard are given development of new rules, to oppress them for it silly. Let grow clever, healthy on pleasure to mother, father and tutors. Adhere to the planned way and keep love.